I have developed a serious condition since bringing my one and only child into the world: I can't hold my pee in dire circumstances. It is really bad if I sneeze. Today I had a major incident.
Before I continue there is a bit of information you need to know. The particular toilet cleanser I use requires that it sit in the bowl for at least 10 minutes. I also must clean the bathroom only during precious nap time. If you have read the previous post you know that my son thinks that he needs to be involved with anything regarding the toilet. You will understand the value of the information shortly.
The problem began about 30 minutes into nap time. I had started the process of cleaning the bathroom and needed to finish quickly, due to the fact that my son isn't the best napper. I went to the kitchen to fetch Softscrub for the tub and sink. When, suddenly, a sneeze hit. As per normal procedure I ran to the toilet to quickly relieve myself before an accident ensues. The accidents are never major, but who likes urine on themselves. (don't answer I really don't want to know) As I open the toilet I realized that there was cleanser soaking and it had been there for about 8 min. I don't have time to start over. So, I let the only thing I could do happen. Yes, I wet myself. Not the kind that leaves a puddle, but wet nonetheless. I quickly cleaned up, changed the pants, and under garments. Finished the toilet with only minutes to spare. It was a rough one.
You know it is past the time when you should have stopped letting your child see you go to the bathroom when your 18 month old son grabs a tampon (yes in it's wrapper) and pretends to insert. I am not even at that time of the month so if you know me it was a good 45 days ago when he last saw this. The only problem is when I use the bathroom with the door shut he screams the entire time, as if I have left him out of something very important.
I have discovered some troubling news. The "Can I Borrows" might be returning to the neighborhood. (gasp!) Apparently they can no longer afford the home they purchased and are planning on doing a short sale. The male 'Can I Borrow' can't keep a job and the female works 3 10 hour shifts close to where we live. This means they might be moving back in with the parents. I think that if this happens I will move, and rent somewhere else if I have to. Yes, it is that bad.
Do you ever find that the more you "have to do" the less you accomplish. I have found that I have so many things I need to get done that I don't do any of it and waste time instead! There is no excuse, I am just lazy right now. Any advice?
I have a reoccurring theme in my life, Stranded. I am frequently the stay-at-home mom with NO CAR. At least this time my dear hubby didn't do it to me on purpose. Yes, he leaves me without a car on purpose. He has a constant need to buy and sell cars. If we end up with only one car I am the stay-at-home who has no need for a car. I don't need to go to the store, bank, or take a little outing to keep from going crazy, I am a stay-at-home. This time the drive line on my car went out (a story too long and filled with emotion to share right now). It will be expensive to fix--does that mean we just leave it sitting at the shop hoping the money will magically appear? Or wait for someone who has the desire to rebuild the part in their spare time, even if it takes 3 weeks? I guess so, I am a stay-at-home with nothing important to do. Aaaaggghhhh! Just needed to vent!
I have lost count as to what part this "Can I Borrow Story" is and I am too lazy to go back and count. If any of my 2 readers feel they have time they can do this for me.
So, two weeks ago we were in the backyard with my parents assembling the Little Tikes play gym my sister-in-law handed down for the Menace. The dear hubby had left to put the jog stroller back in the basement and had been gone for an extraordinarily long time. When he returned he had a frustrated look on his face. I asked him about it and he said, "guess what the Male Can I Borrow asked me?" "Oh Great", I thought. He then proceeded to tell me that the Can I Borrow's asked to borrow the baby hiking backpack. If you will notice in a previous "Can I Borrow"http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2007/07/can-i-borrow.html post they borrowed this before we had ever had a chance to use it, as we had had a difficult time conceiving a child. My hubby tells me that he put the blame on me saying that I wouldn't let anyone borrow it as we use it frequently with the Menace. "Phew" I thought I don't mind being the bad guy. I might let it out if I it had been someone else, but we have a rule not to lend things out we aren't willing to give away or we will only lend to those we know will replace. The Can I Borrow's don't fit into either category.
Is this the end of the tale, NO! Several days later I was outside with the Menace playing. When we ran into not one but both of the Can I Borrow's (mind you they no longer live in our neighborhood they were just dropping children off). I was making polite conversation when the male bursts out (in a suspiciously joking tone) "You really hurt our feelings by not letting us take your pack". WOW!! The nerve of some people. I replied "Well, I don't want to have to scrub it before using it every time". The female then says "Well, we didn't get it dirty last time did we?" I being very annoyed by this time just said, "Call me obsessive I will scrub it if anyone else uses it before putting my kid in!" I then picked up my Menace and returned home. Oooohhhh! I wish I was better at making snide comments. Oh Well, maybe they will start to gather that I am fed up with them. Probably not--their kind never care.
