Winder

Planning

2010-12-03T21:45:00.003-07:00

My husband, ever the attorney. Not much for spontaneity these days and that's ok.

I glance over from my perch on the sofa and what do I see? He and the Menace are working on a sketch/plan of the snowman they plan to build tomorrow. Pretty stinking cute.

Poo Corner

2010-11-04T12:20:00.004-06:00

We are dabbling a bit in the art of potty training. Of course we aren't having great success, but we aren't pushing the issue at this point. The Menace is not quite aware when he needs to tinkle. Yet, he definitely know he when he needs to poop. He will be playing then suddenly says, "I need to hide. I gotta go to poo corner." Delmar and I decided we will beat him to the punch and put his potty in poo corner. He is not so sure about our idea. Nonetheless I did my best not to laugh. I found the situation all too funny.
Yes, I had to sit there and read books. He wouldn't have anything to do with it otherwise.

Now doesn't this tale make you think of the "sweet" Kenny Loggins song: "Pooh Corner". Every time the Menace announces his location the annoying song runs through my head.

Pee Pee Store

2010-10-31T19:11:00.005-06:00

My sister came to visit a few days ago. Let's call her "Trixy". While The Menace was showing Trixy some of his toys he paused, looked at her with a serious look, and the following conversation began:

Menace: Trixy you don't have a pee pee right?

Trixy: (trying to keep a straight face) No, your right. I'm a girl. I don't have a pee pee.

Menace: Well, you need to get one.

Trixy: Where do I get one?

Menace: (in a matter of fact tone) You get it from the pee pee box.

Trixy: Where do I find the pee pee box?

Menace: From the Pee Pee Store!

Trixy: Oh, well how would I put it on.

Menace: You just use scissors.

I sent them out to build a snowman.
Needless to say, I think I need to hide the scissors.

Trains

2010-10-18T22:36:00.007-06:00

My little Menace loves trains. When I say loves trains I don't mean he just likes to play with "Choo-Choo's" as many toddlers might say. He knows many different types and styles of trains. He can name almost every Thomas and Friends train available. He really loves trains.

Today we decided we must do something as our trip to the Arches failed. Trip to the arches you say? I never told you about the trip? Well, that trip was just too much drama to even bother posting. Just imagine endless drama and we'll move on.

Anywho, we decide to travel north to a local train museum. We showed the Menace a few photos online and he was committed. Before leaving we decided to call Delmar's mother to join us. She grew up in a small train town and was raised by a train engineer step-grandfather. She showed up early for our departure time. This fact is important as to understand her excitement, she is not the arrive early type. This little adventure did not disappoint. Before we could even park the car the Menace had spotted the engines parked outside and was shouting for joy. We spent over 2 hours at the joint and the Menace still didn't want to leave. It was fantastic. Aside from the Menace and his joy it was nice to see the nostalgia in my mother-in-law's face. We don't spend a great deal of quality time together and this trip will be logged into our memories forever.

I believe things happen for a reason. I have no doubt our planned adventures failed in part to give us this "Traintastic" opportunity.
(Don't mock the made up word I hear it daily on a Menace train cartoon)

Witness

2010-07-02T16:24:00.007-06:00

Oh, we have had quite the week.

I'll begin with nice news. We are finally approved and on the adoption list. Now we must wait for a birth mother to pick us. Some people say that is the worst part. For me it feels like it will be better than all the paperwork and waiting for the caseworker to get on the ball. I might change my tune after a bit. I don't think so. I have done all I can do for now and that is good for me.

Now for the interesting stuff. Delmar, The Menace and I decided to take a little 2 day jaunt to the mountainous town we live by. We loaded up and just needed to make one quick stop in the big city on the way for Delmar to drop off some legal paperwork to an opposing attorney. That quick stop turned into a nightmare. Literally.

True to his word Delmar dropped the papers off quickly and was back in the car in less than 5 minutes. As he re-entered the automobile we notice commotion just to the passenger side of our vehicle. Two guys look as if they are goofing around. But, they are not goofing. One has a knife and slashes the throat of the other. The slashed throat guy (who is a drunk street dweller) stands there screaming at the other who has run off. Blood is spraying from his mouth as he shouts while more blood is spurting from his neck with every heartbeat. Now blood doesn't usually bother me. This event however leaves me completely ready to vomit.

Delmar calls 911 and is giving details. The slashed throat guy still screaming punches another guy who tries to help and stop the bleeding. Punched guy nearly slams into my automobile. Police begin to arrive. Delmar exits the car to give 911 further details. I pull out of the parking stall to get The Menace away from the events (thankfully he fell asleep on the drive to the big city) and avoid getting trapped in by the arriving emergency vehicles.

Just wait it gets better. Delmar is detained by the authorities because as slashed throat guy is transported he is believed to be near death by paramedics. Delmar must now give a second report to homicide detectives as they believe it will now be a murder. I am stuck driving around town and trying to keep The Menace from screaming for over 2 hours. Delmar is not allowed to leave the watchful eye of the officers even to pick up his wallet from me so he might ride public transportation home as our vacation is beginning to look dismal. Some adventure huh?

We were finally able to retrieve Delmar from the authorities after 10 p.m. We made it to our vacation and into our hotel beds by 12:30 a.m. Our 2 day getaway was quickly dwindled to 1. We did our best to make the most of that one. I think that we now need/deserve another vacation??

Last we heard slashed throat guy was on the mend and will be back on the street in no time. Not sure though. Here is the news report in case you don't believe me.
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=11381957

Jingle Bells

2010-05-24T12:58:00.003-06:00

The Menace loves the song "Jingle Bells". When I say loves I mean loves. He always wants to sing it. Around the end of March I'd had my fill with "Jingle Bells". I told him he couldn't sing it until we had a lot of snow again and it was Christmas time. This morning he looks out the window and notices the 2 inches on the lawn (note: it is May 24th). He shouts out "SOWN". yes he puts the n in the wrong spot. Before I know it he is singing: "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All Way. Oh Good fun it is to ride in a horse sleigh, Hey!" What do you do? He followed my directions and waited until it was snowing again, he has no clue when Christmas time is. I am beginning to doubt if I do either.

Apology

2010-05-17T14:10:00.002-06:00

To everyone who has noticed a deleted comment right before a comment from me on their blog. I am truly sorry. I should know better than to think that I can manage multiple blogs at once. I keep leaving myself signed in to a blog that is not The Winder. So I then must delete it and recreate it as Winder. Please forgive me in my idiotic state.

Seriously

2010-05-12T13:24:00.004-06:00

I seriously need to get back in shape. Yesterday I spent an hour teaching a teenage girl some track drills. No big deal, I have done these same drills for years. Well, tell that to my back. I went to pick The Menace up this morning and spent the next 15 min. on the floor freaking him out. I was hollering and moaning. I really wish I had a recording of the noises, they were fantastic couldn't recreate them if I tried. Thankfully Delmar was late leaving for work and was able to reduce the spasm. I felt like such a loser. Now that it isn't quite as sore I can reflect on the situation with a clear mind. I know I am an out of shape loser, but it was really funny.

Ugghhhhh....

2010-05-10T15:20:00.004-06:00

Note: The lable on this post is TMI. Don't read if you don't want to know!

This is how I feel today. I am finally having my visit from Aunt Flow. It has been 60 days and I have known for 30 that I wasn't pregnant. Thus the story of my infertile life. You might say how lucky you are to go so long without a visit. Ummm NO! I bloat for weeks and retain all kinds of water. This go around all of my bowel movements have been a lovely shade of green (could be unrelated). I just want to lie around and moan. Can't happen, I have a two year old and 7 loads of laundry waiting. Off I go, just needed to vent.

OVERJOYED

2010-05-01T13:32:00.004-06:00

I met Sparks yesterday!

Yes Rabid the exclamation point is necessary. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. Though I tried to play it cool, I was with Rabid and didn't want to look like a complete nerd (I am always a bit of a nerd). Just as luck would have it Rabid went to the restroom as Sparks entered the restaurant. I gasped, out loud. Then did a Winder fashioned double arm wave. I was sure she thought, "who is the goonberry waving at me?" The Winder of course. The three of us ate and chatted. Also in Winder fashion, I chatted the most and think I ate the most.

Sparks is adorable and even more petite than I had imagined. Between her and Rabid I felt like Stay Puff the Marshmallow Man. Well not that big, but they are both tiny. She is polite, witty, and a great listener. How can you not be when I am excited, you really have no choice.

The food was not too shabby either. I find that I am still craving the Butternut Squash Soup. Or maybe I am just craving the fantastic company. Either way I hope to have a meeting with that fabulous gal again.

PANIC

2010-04-22T20:54:00.005-06:00

We must have copies of our driver's license and Social Security card in order to get our FBI background check complete. All in order to complete our adoption paperwork. Wouldn't you know Delmar says:
"I don't think I have a SS card."
"What!" I say.
"Who doesn't have a SS card?"

We then proceed to comb through every possible location. No SS card. I begin to panic. Delmar starts to reminisce. He managed to locate a wallet containing all of his student I.D. cards, rec. center memberships, swimming pool season passes, and a ticket to every concert he has ever attended. He has all of the aforementioned items and no SS card.

Trying to contain myself I ask:
"Is there anywhere you might have it?
Anywhere?"
He then states, "My mom might have it filed somewhere". Great, Just Great. Now I know we are in a mess.
To my surprise within 5 min. of his phone call Delmar's mom calls back and has the card.

Miracles do happen everyday.

Update

2010-04-21T13:49:00.004-06:00

Thought I would update everyone on the Adoption Saga. It's been three months and I have almost finished the paperwork. This weekend Delmar and I get to spend Friday evening and all day Saturday at an adoption training. I know, I know you are all jealous.

Next we get to have our caseworker inspect our home and finances. Then we get to write a profile about ourselves and come up with an amazing photo to try and get a potential birth mother to notice us. Can't I just post "Pick Me! Pick Me!" Would be much easier.

Unlikely Friend

2010-04-14T22:57:00.000-06:00

I am related, our husbands are brothers so not blood related, to a fantastic lady. Oohh, Lady makes her sound old. She is definitely not old. For the sake of her privacy we shall call her "Missy, the Coal Miner's Daughter". Missy and I have recently developed a deep friendship. What is the big deal about a good relationship with a sister-in-law. Let me tell you. On paper we are the most unlikely friends imaginable. Here is why:

Missy is a former cheerleader--I have always disliked cheerleaders
Missy is a pageant queen--I am what you might call a jock
Missy has a beautiful voice--I was cut from the 5th/6th grade choir
Missy always has perfect hair--My hair is never perfect, it is usually clean
Missy loves Celine Dion--I absolutely don't
The list can go on and on.

When we married the brothers, two months apart, I was worried. I knew Delmar and Von loved doing stuff together and I "knew" Missy and I never could. So much for what I "knew". Missy is sweet, loving and totally fun to be with. She is the type of person who will go the extra mile when helping you. She is smart, funny and completely loyal. Missy is a great listener and I love our "therapy sessions". When the family drama hits (and it hits often) I would be lost without her. So the old adage is true, you can't judge a book by it's cover.

Love you Missy.

Rabid is still correct, you can judge a person by the books they read.

Entitlement

2010-04-07T21:57:00.007-06:00

I have had it with the "Something for Nothing" type personality. Why is it that there are so many people who think that the world owes them? I swear I am surrounded by people who are "entitled" to every good thing possible. How about working for something. Or just plain working. Better yet when you are given a gift show some gratitude. If you are given something small don't expect that in return you deserve something bigger. Be grateful you got anything at all.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT

2010-03-29T12:11:00.007-06:00

I almost fainted last night. Something I never thought could happen, happened. Delmar took out the trash. He took it out without me asking, hinting, nagging, begging, pleading, tantrum-ing etc. I don't know what caused this sudden initiative on his part. I really should have rewarded him somehow. He probably was trying to get "The Sex" and I was just too shell shocked to take action. Or maybe he felt really bad for me after this Vomitphobe caught puke with her bare hands just to save the recently cleaned carpet. Either way I shall make it up to him tonight.

Mr. Mailman

2010-03-25T15:20:00.004-06:00

Hey Mr. Mailman---Bring me my mail
Don't drive by my house--taking it somewhere else,
I have a mailbox right by the road
Sometimes my red flag is up--Oh Mailman!

Yes, this song is dedicated to pathetic mail delivery.
Our normal mail person is fantastic. She never mixes up my mail.
I don't know why, but at least once a week we have a substitute.
I often watch as the mail truck turns the corner and drives right past my house. I know we have large bushes in the breezeway, yet there is still a house there. It is really funny when they occasionally realize they missed the house and try to back up around the circle and fix it. Seriously though, is it that hard?

It Happened

2010-03-15T19:03:00.007-06:00

If you follow this blog you know that I am vomit-phobic. I fear vomit more than anything. When teaching I told my class,"If you feel sick do not come and tell me. I give you permission this once to run in the hall to the bathroom".

Now I have a child of my own who doesn't understand "run to the bathroom", he is still 1 for a few more days. Last night he wasn't sleeping, kept crying, and was very restless. I tried to soothe him nothing worked. Finally at about 4 a.m. he drifted to sleep. At 5:30 a.m. Delmar heard him coughing the he started to cry. I went to soothe him again and reached into the crib to tickle his back. I felt moisture, who knows why, I sniffed my hand. VOMIT! I nearly panicked and called for Delmar. The poor little guy puked every 20 min. for the next couple of hours. Every time it happened he would give us this "what is going on" look. He cried and cried. I felt bad. Not bad enough to cuddle him. I was getting nauseous myself. I made Delmar late for work so he could help with the mess. Not a good day.

Facts are Facts

2010-03-14T19:23:00.016-06:00

Some people don't like some people. Just how it works.

I am the type of person that doesn't/can't hide how I feel. My face shows it all. I am trying to deal with annoying people better than I did in my youth. I am trying to handle difficult people without blowing my cool. In my younger years this was a problem. That being said, if I avoid you or won't engage in conversation with you leave me be. I don't want to talk to you. Don't try to say I'm being mean to you. Being mean would be saying all the things that cross my mind when you lie, make false accusations, act like an idiot, etc., etc., etc. Being mean would be doing to you the spiteful things you do others. No, I don't want to hang out with you. It is what it is. I am who I am. I am not perfect. I would rather be not perfect than phony.

Sorry G.G.

2010-03-09T21:47:00.006-07:00

Background info: G.G. is what The Menace calls my mother.

Tonight we were saying our family prayer. The Menace decided he wanted to help. Delmar was helping him say things like: thank thee for home, bless Dadda to get job, and bless Momma to have a baby. The Menace then blurts out, "and bless G.G. have baby too". It was all I could do to hold in my cackle laugh. I don't know what miracles could come of this, being that G.G. has removed the inner baby workings and all. You never know. Watch out G.G.!

Rose Colored Glasses

2010-03-03T12:25:00.014-07:00

Today I have decided to take a new outlook on life. I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately and things need to change. Here is a sample of the new views I am going to take:

Old - I am bummed that I am still live this tiny house. Due to Delmar being self-employed we will need 1 more good tax return to get a loan.
New - I have a house with a working heater/air conditioner and a non-leaking roof. I don't need to use a baby monitor to hear The Menace. I can clean the entire house in 2 hours. Small house but great yard.

Old - Delmar works long hours and often on Saturdays. I need to see him more.
New - I have a great husband. Delmar has work and an income. He comes home every night and misses us as much as we miss him. My husband is hardworking and doesn't sit around waiting for miracles to happen.

Old - The fertility meds and lack of exercise have made me chubby.
New - I must have it good if I have enough food to eat that I am getting chubby. I am lucky to have the funds to spend on expensive fertility drugs.

Old - The Menace is consuming. I can't get away to workout let alone have some time for me.
New - I have a beautiful, healthy, happy son. My son loves being with me and is learning so many new things. This might not be true if I were making sure I had enough "me" time.

Old - I need new clothes. Everything is wearing out and becoming out of date.
New - There is an entire wardrobe waiting for you to return to that pre-pregnancy weight. Most of the items are classic staples and won't look dated. Besides I am not internationally known for my trend setting fashion
Ok, so this view isn't that positive. Sometimes the truth is the truth and you just have to deal. As for the rest--I feel better already.

I'M LOSING IT!

2010-02-23T20:06:00.007-07:00

Lately I have had some serious brain flatulence. Here is a small list of my flub-ups:

I purchased a super size pack of paper towels. I only buy the "Select-A-Size" variety. The other variety produces a lot of waste. I bought a super size pack of the normal type. duh

Old navy jeans are on sale. I need jeans. Most of my denim have holes in the crotch. I really need to mix up my jean look. I wear the only two pairs without holes everywhere. I purchased two pairs. I bought two almost identical pairs. duh

Delmar is out of shampoo. I used a coupon at Costco to buy an extra large container. I placed it in the shower for immediate use. I bought conditioner. duh, duh, duh

Delmar asked what is wrong with me. I couldn't figure it out. I determined I have lost my mind. Then it dawned on me. I take The Menace (yes I am changing his pseudonym again, long story) with me everywhere. I spend my time singing, pointing out letters/numbers, keeping him from climbing out of the cart, etc., etc., etc. When Delmar purchases anything he is alone and can take time to think. I would love to see what he comes home with if he had to shop with The Menace. Then again maybe I don't.

Too Quiet

2010-02-10T16:35:00.002-07:00

Often times you will hear people say that when their kid is too quiet they must be getting into trouble. Not the case with The Maniac. When he is too quiet it usually means he is pooping or has just finished the deed. He then plays by himself and doesn't bother a thing. It is tempting to leave him in the messy diaper. If there weren't things like diaper rash and child neglect he might end up in that poop for hours.

If You're Wondering...

2010-02-08T12:56:00.002-07:00

If any of you are wondering why my blogging is so sporadic, here is why: I spread myself too thin. I sometimes think I am superwoman. I am currently managing 3 blogs--none very well mind you, raising a 22 month old, and trying to complete all the adoption paperwork. Don't ask why I do these things particularly the multiple blogs . It is too detailed and I don't want to get into it. I will do my best to produce quality posts as I obviously don't produce quantity.

Mt. Saint Helen

2010-02-01T15:34:00.003-07:00

Note to Reader: If you are the squeamish type don't read this post. Look at the label TMI Just lettin' ya know.

I have Mt. Saint Helen developing on my chin. You would think that since I am entering my mid 30's this would stop. Oh no! It probably has to do with all the fertility hormone raging through my body. Nevertheless I have a mountain on my chin.
This mountain isn't like your typical blemish. It is huge, deep, and painful. I get these from time to time. You can't just leave it alone, let it come to a head, and drain. It must be hot packed, poked, and have massive pressure applied. If I am lucky the top(or side) will blow with a giant splat onto the mirror. Yes, I call this lucky the pain and pressure will finally be relieved. If I am not lucky there will be a dozen small pin pricks and a bright red tumor on the face. I have a feeling I'll be unlucky this time. Of course. I am hosting a baby shower for my sister Saturday. Won't it be great for dozens of people to see it? Fun stuff.

Adoption Saga

2010-01-27T11:20:00.008-07:00

And so it begins.

Many of you know I have fertility issues. For those who weren't aware, never fear. It is not a particularly touchy issue for me(unless coming from the in-laws). It is what it is and I consider it to be one of my big trials in life. I am not completely barren. After 6 1/2 years of grief I was blessed with The Maniac. He is truly the biggest blessing in my life, aside from Delmar of course. The Maniac is almost 2 now and I have been trying for much of that time to produce a sibling. We do not want an only child, we were planning on at least 5 when we married. No luck.

As I am getting along in child bearing years we determined it was time. We started our preliminary adoption paperwork in November. Yesterday we met with our assigned case worker in what is called an "Intake Interview". 1 1/2 hours later we exited the building. We took with us a giant stack of paperwork, a 300 page book, and minus $1,015. There are additional forms we need to complete online. We must give them certified copies of birth certificates, marriage license, fingerprints, FBI background checks. We will need to attend a weekend adoption class, which is only offered once every 3 months and not again until April. There is more. I am getting tired listing it all, not to mention the list is most likely very boring for you.

The kicker is if I get pregnant(could happen I have been once) before being selected by a birth mother our file will be put on "hold". Once I give birth the file can not be reactivated until our baby is 1. At which time we will have exceeded the inactive time limit and will need to start the process again.

I know there is a reason for all of this. It is just a little overwhelming right now. As the process continues I will update. I will also do my best to find humor in all of this. Could be interesting.

SKI BUM

2010-01-20T22:21:00.014-07:00

I am married to a pathological Ski Bum. What is that? You say there is no such thing. Come to my house and you will see it is true. Delmar has spent his entire life skiing and/or finding a way to pay for skiing. He learned to ski at such a young age he doesn't remember learning to ski. His skiing has been considerably hampered by his recent attendance of law school and opening his own law firm. Has this squelched the desire to ski? Absolutely not. Despite the depth this inner need to ski burns within, Delmar is pretty good about spending time with the Maniac and myself.

I recently discovered that I would be required to attend two baby showers over the next three weeks. I told Delmar "Why don't you plan to go skiing on the days I have baby showers, and spend the other Saturday with us?" He thought this was a great plan. Then it hit. Snow. The mountains are starting to gather the white stuff. You can see the drool dripping from his chin as he watches the local weather report. It looks as if this will be a great weekend to ski. The only problem is this isn't a Saturday I have a baby shower to attend. I feel bad that I don't want him to go. He skis dramatically less than when we were first married. Yet, I want to spend time with him. (No I can't go with him--our skills are well, let's say drastically different. I must wait until he relieves some pent up adrenalin.) What is a girl to do?

NOT FUNNY

2010-01-12T10:29:00.008-07:00

Recently I had one of those days. When Delmar returned from work I handed over the Maniac and told him I needed a couple hours. Delmar so lovingly took over. Delmar gave the Maniac a bath as I was pleasantly reading blogs etc. on my computer. While thinking to myself that I had a wonderful husband I hear a terrifying thump in the tub, followed with a scream of panic for me. I jumped up nearly dropping the laptop in my haste. As I opened the bathroom door there sits my baby with blood covering the side of his forehead and the bathwater quickly turning pink. His face had this bewildered look as I screamed "What did you do!" at Delmar. In that instant I was sure he had a concussion which would explain why he wasn't crying. Suddenly, Delmar began to laugh and everything made sense. The Maniac was playing with his Crayola bathtub crayons. Which just so happen to turn the water colors. The aforementioned crayons also have the ability to leave marks on the skin which in turn wash away. Delmar had made the thump after the Maniac had marked up the side of his head looking like blood. All I could say as I turned for the door was "Not Funny". So much for a relaxing evening, it took all night to calm down.

Note: Delmar apologized profusely.

Resolution

2009-12-30T15:54:00.003-07:00

This year I am not going to make a single resolution. This will alleviate the dilemma of trying to keep the thing. Should I try to loose weight? Yes. Should I be more organized? Yes. Should I be more fiscally responsible? Yes. I have an abundance of things I can work on in life. At this point I don't want to set myself up for failure. Maybe in a week or so I will choose something in my life that I can take control of. We shall see, not making any promises.

Delmar

2009-12-18T13:03:00.014-07:00

When I started to blog a few years ago I determined that I wanted to post in complete anonymity, if possible. As I pondered upon what name to use for my husband I drew a blank. Rabid was already using Spouse which, in my opinion, was and is the best name. Out of sheer laziness I chose to call him "dear hubby". Never loved it. Due to recent events I have taken time to think of a better name. From this point forward dear hubby will be known as Delmar. For those of you who know us personally you will find this to be more humorous than those of you who don't.

My favorite part is: the rough translation of Delmar from Spanish means "of the sea". When he is in water--any form--he's truly in his element. This photo is of him putting on a show for tourists doing back-flips off the rock in Cabo. He will do a back-flip off almost anything including cliffs while skiing. He used to frighten me with his shenanigans. I have since learned he is what he is and I can't and won't change him. He is an amazing husband and father. I couldn't ask for anything more, well...

Now I just need to develop a pseudonym for my son. When I was pregnant Rabid and I called him the wart. I can't use that anymore, he is too cute. Any suggestions?

Behind

2009-12-16T13:04:00.006-07:00

Sorry we left you "behind" on our trip to Cabo San Lucas.

Reason 8,263

2009-12-12T10:28:00.003-07:00

Here is reason 8,263 why I will never buy another Volkswagen -- Sweet German Engineering!

The battery in my Touareg died. No big deal you say. WRONG. My dear hubby (who is quite the car repairman) spent half an hour trying to find the battery. The battery is not where one would think. It is under the driver's seat. After reading through much of the manual he found that there is a post under the hood to use for a jump start, though Volkswagen doesn't recommend jump starting or charging your battery. Wait, there is more. Not only is the battery in a most ridiculous place. We haven't been able to find one for under $300. That is if the hubby replaces it himself. The entire driver's seat must be removed.

Enough, I want a different car. I am tired of spending $100 on oil changes, $50 on wiper blade replacements, $1500 on drive train repairs, etc. The worst part is I have actually loved the car. It drives awesome in all conditions, turns better than any compact I have ever driven, and is the perfect height for placing a child in a carseat. I just don't want anymore surprise expenses.

Take my advice (unless you are one of the elite who don't mind costly repairs) never buy a Volkswagen.

I Need A Rainbow

2009-12-10T13:38:00.002-07:00

I could use a little rainbow in my house. Why? Because I am tired of the flood. Two days ago I went downstairs to begin washing all the clothes from the vacation. Low and Behold there was my washer and dryer sitting in a giant puddle. Hubby is at work so this leaves me to deal with it. So what do I do? Call dad. My dad did his best to patch up the problem the fact still remains we are going to have to buy a new garbage disposal. This is not what I want to do at Christmas time. I want to buy fun things. So for now I will keep an eye on the bucket catching the drip and dream of a magic rainbow to promise me no more floods.

You Know You're Too Competitive When...

2009-11-27T22:54:00.004-07:00

You know you are too competitive when...

-You are never willing to let a child win at anything.
-The only reason you want your mother-in-law's recipes is to be better at them than she is.
-You can't attend a house of worship without competing during religious ceremonies.
-You Hiss at your dear friend's mother during a "friendly" card game.
-Your husband refuses to play games with you because you threw the pieces at him after losing.
-You won't run anymore because you can never be at the level you were in college.

Finally,
-You go to an adoption meeting and start determining which couples you are sure you can beat and which will be tough competitors.

This list could go on and on. I am beginning to realize I need help.

PANIC

2009-11-16T11:15:00.008-07:00

I nearly lost all hope for living on Saturday night... Ok, it wasn't that bad the events were quite frightening all the same. Our little family returned from an outing Saturday evening to find a moving truck parking across the street. I said to my hubby, "I wonder what is going on?" Shortly after panic struck the "Can I Borrow's" minivan pulled up behind the truck. My husband instantly said, "We are moving!" (moving wouldn't be a bad thing if it were moving closer to Rabid) I just sat there in shock not knowing what to say. For those of you who might be new to this little story you must read the previous "Can I Borrow" posts. http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2007/07/can-i-borrow.html
http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2007/10/can-i-borrow-part-2.html
http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2008/06/can-i-borrow-part-3.html
http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2009/06/can-i-borrow-part.html
http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2009/09/can-i-borrows-return.html

I know, I know I should figure out how to do the click here thingy I am just lucky to find the time to post right now.

Anyhow, all Saturday night I was filled with dread. Sunday after church I bumped (well let's admit it--I sought them out) into the parents of the "Can I Borrow" family. I asked them, "So, are you moving? he, he, he (that is me trying to play it cool). They respond with no we were moving "you know who's" into an apartment. Whew! I almost ran from the church with glee.

Great!

2009-11-13T14:02:00.007-07:00

I read a friend's blog the other day (technically she is not my friend yet--she is a friend of my dearest friend thus, by default she may be stuck with me). The post was a purge post. She vented about photos by railroad tracks to show this year's hairdo. I laughed pretty hard and then realized that rabid took my photo by railroad tracks. Crap! I have joined the masses. Now I have an added problem, I changed my hairdo. The Christmas card I ordered in all my organization is ruined. This is quite the conundrum.

Recipe Shock

2009-11-11T10:50:00.006-07:00

My husband and I love the sitcom "Everyone Loves Raymond". I think we enjoy it because there are so many similarities to our own families. Often the episodes involve Ray's mother and wife in battles over cooking. One episode in particular (if I weren't so lazy I would find the clip for you) Ray's mother gives his wife a botched recipe. The hubby and I laughed 'til we cried. The reason we find this so funny is that I experience the recipe drama with my mother-in-law. Maybe it is just a coincidence, but she mysteriously looses recipes when I ask her for them--even if we are eating the food right then the recipe is magically gone. Or better yet a few weeks after I ask for it she will make the item. It is classic.

Now on with the point. A few months ago I was sorting through some stuff and found a Ziploc with typed recipes that my husband was given before leaving on his mission. In this bag I found several of the recipes I had been asking for (which by the way are the hubby's favorites--hence the reason for asking). I laughed an evil, demonic laugh and began to cook them up. I had forgotten this until Sunday. While eating dinner with the in-laws the mother - for some reason I cannot remember - mentioned that she had typed favorite recipes for her kids when they left on their missions. I then said "I know I just found 'hubby's', and have been cooking for him". She sat there in stunned silence and you could just see the shock in her face. She didn't know what to say and tried to change the subject. I thought to myself "Bwahh, ha, ha, ha you can't keep them from me forever." It was great!

The Sneeze Pee

2009-10-29T15:18:00.006-06:00

I have developed a serious condition since bringing my one and only child into the world: I can't hold my pee in dire circumstances. It is really bad if I sneeze. Today I had a major incident.

Before I continue there is a bit of information you need to know. The particular toilet cleanser I use requires that it sit in the bowl for at least 10 minutes. I also must clean the bathroom only during precious nap time. If you have read the previous post you know that my son thinks that he needs to be involved with anything regarding the toilet. You will understand the value of the information shortly.

The problem began about 30 minutes into nap time. I had started the process of cleaning the bathroom and needed to finish quickly, due to the fact that my son isn't the best napper. I went to the kitchen to fetch Softscrub for the tub and sink. When, suddenly, a sneeze hit. As per normal procedure I ran to the toilet to quickly relieve myself before an accident ensues. The accidents are never major, but who likes urine on themselves. (don't answer I really don't want to know) As I open the toilet I realized that there was cleanser soaking and it had been there for about 8 min. I don't have time to start over. So, I let the only thing I could do happen. Yes, I wet myself. Not the kind that leaves a puddle, but wet nonetheless. I quickly cleaned up, changed the pants, and under garments. Finished the toilet with only minutes to spare. It was a rough one.

Past Time

2009-10-27T13:35:00.002-06:00

You know it is past the time when you should have stopped letting your child see you go to the bathroom when your 18 month old son grabs a tampon (yes in it's wrapper) and pretends to insert. I am not even at that time of the month so if you know me it was a good 45 days ago when he last saw this. The only problem is when I use the bathroom with the door shut he screams the entire time, as if I have left him out of something very important.

I'MM BAAAACCCKK!

2009-10-22T21:39:00.002-06:00

To all of my beloved readers, ok all two of you. I am back posting to the blog again. I would like to blame it on the recent crash of the old computer. (And rabid I mean crash not log-in again) But, alas, I hadn't posted for a month before that event. I do hope now that I have a laptop again my freedom to blog will increase. I am not sure though, the little "maniac" has noticed something new and will climb on anything to try and get it. Oh well, for now I am just happy to be back online. :D

Can I Borrow's Return

2009-09-15T15:09:00.005-06:00

I have discovered some troubling news. The "Can I Borrows" might be returning to the neighborhood. (gasp!) Apparently they can no longer afford the home they purchased and are planning on doing a short sale. The male 'Can I Borrow' can't keep a job and the female works 3 10 hour shifts close to where we live. This means they might be moving back in with the parents. I think that if this happens I will move, and rent somewhere else if I have to. Yes, it is that bad.

So Much to Do...

2009-08-26T11:03:00.002-06:00

Do you ever find that the more you "have to do" the less you accomplish. I have found that I have so many things I need to get done that I don't do any of it and waste time instead! There is no excuse, I am just lazy right now. Any advice?

NO CAR

2009-07-16T16:40:00.007-06:00

I have a reoccurring theme in my life, Stranded. I am frequently the stay-at-home mom with NO CAR. At least this time my dear hubby didn't do it to me on purpose. Yes, he leaves me without a car on purpose. He has a constant need to buy and sell cars. If we end up with only one car I am the stay-at-home who has no need for a car. I don't need to go to the store, bank, or take a little outing to keep from going crazy, I am a stay-at-home. This time the drive line on my car went out (a story too long and filled with emotion to share right now). It will be expensive to fix--does that mean we just leave it sitting at the shop hoping the money will magically appear? Or wait for someone who has the desire to rebuild the part in their spare time, even if it takes 3 weeks? I guess so, I am a stay-at-home with nothing important to do. Aaaaggghhhh! Just needed to vent!

Can I Borrow Part...?

2009-06-26T10:47:00.006-06:00

I have lost count as to what part this "Can I Borrow Story" is and I am too lazy to go back and count. If any of my 2 readers feel they have time they can do this for me.

So, two weeks ago we were in the backyard with my parents assembling the Little Tikes play gym my sister-in-law handed down for the Menace. The dear hubby had left to put the jog stroller back in the basement and had been gone for an extraordinarily long time. When he returned he had a frustrated look on his face. I asked him about it and he said, "guess what the Male Can I Borrow asked me?" "Oh Great", I thought. He then proceeded to tell me that the Can I Borrow's asked to borrow the baby hiking backpack. If you will notice in a previous "Can I Borrow"http://thewinder.blogspot.com/2007/07/can-i-borrow.html post they borrowed this before we had ever had a chance to use it, as we had had a difficult time conceiving a child. My hubby tells me that he put the blame on me saying that I wouldn't let anyone borrow it as we use it frequently with the Menace. "Phew" I thought I don't mind being the bad guy. I might let it out if I it had been someone else, but we have a rule not to lend things out we aren't willing to give away or we will only lend to those we know will replace. The Can I Borrow's don't fit into either category.

Is this the end of the tale, NO! Several days later I was outside with the Menace playing. When we ran into not one but both of the Can I Borrow's (mind you they no longer live in our neighborhood they were just dropping children off). I was making polite conversation when the male bursts out (in a suspiciously joking tone) "You really hurt our feelings by not letting us take your pack". WOW!! The nerve of some people. I replied "Well, I don't want to have to scrub it before using it every time". The female then says "Well, we didn't get it dirty last time did we?" I being very annoyed by this time just said, "Call me obsessive I will scrub it if anyone else uses it before putting my kid in!" I then picked up my Menace and returned home. Oooohhhh! I wish I was better at making snide comments. Oh Well, maybe they will start to gather that I am fed up with them. Probably not--their kind never care.

Too Cute

2009-05-08T14:37:00.003-06:00

I know my last post was about Rabid and family, but since she and those who know her are the only few who read my blog it doesn't matter. Anyhow--Rabid, Yahoo#2, Myself and my little Menace went for a picnic. On the drive there Yahoo #2 spurts out, look "Menace" and I are holding hands. I looked back to see their hands clasped and stretched out between the two car seats. Then Yahoo#2 proceeded to make funny noises so the Menace would giggle. It was one of those special moments you would like to freeze in time. Thanks Rabid and Yahoo#2 you made my week!

OUTDONE

2009-04-22T13:32:00.012-06:00

I was just glancing through Rabid's blog and noticed a great family ski photo. It reminded me of my ski adventure with them a few weeks ago. I was pathetic, horrible, no good, very bad that day. Not that I am ever excellent but as of April 20, 2007 (the last time I had skied due to the baby) I was beginning to get the hang of it.

A single event on our adventure will sum it up. As Rabid's Spouse, Yah00 #2, and I descended down a blue run I started to panic. I reverted back to the old snow plow days. As Yahoo #2 began down the longest "steep" part he yells back to me "ya just have to make big turns". He made it look so easy. Once again I panicked I skipped that part and stayed on the cat track. I found them waiting patiently for me at the bottom. Mind you I have 28 years on the yahoo. It was very humiliating.

Thanks rabidowski and family for putting up with me!

This is what I felt like.

A Good Read

2009-02-16T14:34:00.003-07:00

Recently the hubby and I have had a little tension in our relationship(yes, I am willing to admit it-- hiding it does no good). I tried to blame it all on him for working long hours and leaving me at home with the 10 month old. Of course it couldn't be my fault in any part! (*gasp*) Then I thought a bit more about it and realized he was working long hours because I want to be at home with the baby. Anyway, I was chatting with a friend and she recommended the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger The title is a little weird I know. I love the book. It has given me a lot to think about and some new insights I wouldn't have thought of on my own. For example she states that men are simple creatures they basically want: to be fed, have sex, provide for their family, know their wife is happy. Dr. Laura's philosophy is that if you "feed your husband properly" you will receive caring back ten fold.
There are so many ideas in the book. One I want to share is concerning the fact that we say our husband is not a good listener. I know I have repeatedly said this. She quotes a listener to her program:

I also believe that we as women talk too much in our conversations with our husbands. We say they never listen to us, but let's face it, we usually put in way too many details to keep them interested! (that is me for sure)
I mean, really, would you want to listen if they were telling you every detailed play that took place in a football game they'd seen? (OK so I might, but you get the point) I certainly would be bored silly if my husband did that. He can tell me if his favorite team won and he can even tell me a great play that was in the game, but any more than that, I would for sure start to zone out.
If we cut down on the details and ask them more questions about their day (without pressure for answers, though), conversations would become more two-sided and more pleasant.

This may not fit everyone. It sure fits me to a T. It is not the only problem my hubby and I face, but it is one area I know I can improve on. So, if you are not too proud to admit you may be part of the relationship problem--check this book out. You will be amazed how quickly a little bit of effort will help out. Things are already going much better for us.

DID YOU KNOW?

2009-01-31T15:12:00.005-07:00

Recently a friend commented that I needed to get a life due to my spouting useless knowledge during a party. I have since sent him a trivia fact daily to his email. I have decided to share some of these with everyone. Here are a few from this week:

Did you know?
The Pope has been known to wear red "Prada" shoes.
It brings a whole new meaning to "The Devil Wears Prada", don't you think!

Did you know?
The name Vanilla comes from the Spanish word "vainilla", diminutive form of "vaina" (meaning "sheath"), which is in turn derived from Latin "vagina".
Changes the way you look at the ol' plain ice cream, huh!

Thought of the Week

2009-01-23T14:42:00.005-07:00

We have had a hole in our hall, from the vacated swamp cooler, for 4 years! My husband covered it with a white board upon removing the swamp cooler and it has been there ever since. So, I have decided to post the "Thought of the Week". I feel like Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Here is this week's thought:

Chapstril or Nostick

2009-01-13T15:20:00.008-07:00

Two weeks ago (yes, it takes me that long to post) we were leaving in the late afternoon to visit family. I decided to close the curtains since it would be dark upon our return. While completing the task I noticed that my lips felt rather chapped. I thought to myself, "I will need to put some chapstick on before leaving". As I closed the bedroom curtains (they are on the hubby's side) I noticed my the hubby had two chapstick containers on his nightstand. Thinking I would save time by not going around to my side I used his. As I was using it I noted that it was very narrow and almost cone shaped. I thought I would need to ask him how he managed that and left.

While eating dinner with family, the discussion turned to the frost bitten nose damage that my hubby suffers from due to very cold ski days. He then proceeded to explain that the tip of his nostril area is very chapped and he has to coat it with chapstick. The sudden realization as to why his chapstick is cone shaped hit me and I sprayed soup across the table. It wasn't that I hadn't seen him do this, I just wasn't thinking as I used it. We laughed about the event on and off for the rest of the night. In fact whenever he uses the stick we both burst into peals of laughter.

Bad Winder, Bad Winder

2008-12-17T21:34:00.003-07:00

I have become the worst at posting! Not that I was really great before now. Not that it really matters. Not that I have more than one or two readers. Not that. . . I don't know what I am trying to say. All I know is this:

1. That my dear hubby has been working 16 hours a day, (He tells me that the law is a terrible mistress.)
2. I just recently started Christmas shopping. With no real money to shop with (despite the long work hours...don't ask!)
3. I am a newbie stay-at-home mother who found out it is harder than she could imagine.
4. I have missed 2 great Christmas parties (due to hubby and his working)

I hope that any one of those reasons might be a good enough excuse for the lack of posting!
What do you think my few loyal readers?

New Family Role

2008-11-14T12:36:00.003-07:00

I have apparently assumed a new (former) family role. This clip might help explain. No other details will be given.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bNDr1A6dTU

Minor Obsession

2008-10-29T12:56:00.001-06:00

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

Never Trust a Substitute

2008-10-13T21:01:00.015-06:00

I have had many a funny story from my former teaching days (of less than a year ago). My sister-in-law has a story to top them all. She teaches first grade. Her 3 year old girl was sick and she had to stay home with her. While out she assigned the substitute to help the class write a Halloween poem about black cats. Here is the poem:

Black cats play with yarn.
Black cats live in a barn.
Black cats can jump.
Black cats can hump.
Black cats say “Yeow”

The sub was an old lady who probably did not know what we use the term “hump” for these days. The principal confiscated the poster which was hanging up. Not before the sub sent a copy of the poem home with each child. The principal, who plans to use the poster as a joke in faculty meeting, also pointed out the last sentence about the cats saying “Yeow” after they hump. The substitute also misspelled yeow and put a paper over it then rewrote it as it is in the poem above. With the paper and the rewrite it brought more attention to yeow.

"Yeow"

Latest Trend

2008-08-13T21:09:00.009-06:00

Have you seen the latest piece of bling worn by the Mrs. McCain?? She has a minor wrist sprain following a hand shake with a McCain enthusiast. Yes, the total arm sling is necessary for a wrist injury. (I think she is just afraid of germs and doesn't want to shake grodie hands anymore.) I suppose she should avoid any further hand shaking with her hubbies enthusiastic supporters. You never know the next one might have the strength of Edward Cullen and rip her entire arm off. Or, he may turn her to the dark side with his charm! Wait, she is very pale and looks very young for her age. Gasp! Maybe she is one of the creatures of the night. She has a sly look she could be Volturi. Oooohhh!! I love a good scandal.

Free Time?

2008-08-01T11:39:00.006-06:00

I have now fully come to realize the common misconception of the "Free Time" of a stay at home mother! Yes, I am home all day and no I don't get anything more done than I did when I was employed. Why you say? Because I am working! Raising a child is soooo time consuming. Especially when you are trying to get that child on a schedule. The best part is that we have now established the morning nap and I am starting to get 1 hour of time to work with!

Can I Borrow? -- Part 3

2008-06-23T15:15:00.006-06:00

So, the good ol' can I borrow ex-neighbor is at it again. We had babies within 3 days of each other. So, anytime they come to visit their former residence they want to compare and contrast. Uuuugggghhhh!!!! Last night was no exception.

So, while trying to make idle chit-chat I mention that it has been nice to have my dear hubby working some odd jobs from home while looking for the optimal law job. It has made taking care of the newborn much easier. The female then says to me "What do you do all day? Water your garden?" Which I know she is somewhat envious of my new freetime. So I just answer "Yup!! " "I don't get anything else done, Ever!" For once I was able to respond quickly she didn't have a reply and quickly changed the subject. If only I could have thought of something a little more sassy!

Lost Identity

2008-06-06T16:18:00.004-06:00

From the title you may think that I have suffered identity theft. Well, I haven't had anything stolen I just sort of gave it away. I am now offically among the ranks of stay at home mothers. I have been longing for this for about 6 years. For the most part it is great. My baby is adorable and I have an endless list of chores I attempt to get done. You may ask me in a few years if I still think it is great and the answer may be different. As for now I am 99.9% happy.

So why the lost identity title? It all began on the last day of school (remember I was a teacher). I was so excited to be done and out of the school. Then my fellow educators gave me a wonderful tribute and gift. I cried through the whole thing. I then dried my eyes picked up the last of my stuff and headed for the car. Only to have two friends that I have worked with for 8 years help me load the car, and proceed to stand in the parking lot waving goodbye. I totally lost it. I was supposed to make a stop at rabid's house to pick up some plants. Of course I forgot. I phoned her to tell her I would get them later and the tears wouldn't stop. Through my blubbering I got through to her and managed to apologize and say "I didn't think it would be so hard!" I am no longer an official teacher.

The worst part is that I had to return my laptop. Now I am stuck sharing our home computer with the dear hubby. Which I wouldn't call sharing! I have to pitch a fit in order to even check my email, let alone add to the blog! My entries could become even more sparse (if that is possible). The only reason this entry is being posted is that I sent him to the store.

So, I am beginning a new phase in life and doing my best to deal with the change of identity. I am excited and a little worried about what the future holds.

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

2008-05-16T14:30:00.004-06:00

Ok! So, if you follow the blog of rabidrunner you will know that I had a baby boy on St. Patrick's Day. He is really cute and a very good baby! I know every mother thinks her child is cute, but I think mine actually is (arrogant I know). The new adventure is very difficult and quite a learning experience. I think that my hubby and I are starting to figure it out. Being a parent is starting to be fun.

Then we go somewhere! Or now that I have returned to work he has to be taken to a relative during the day. I have begun to dread encounters with other people. Someone is always telling me what to do and how I should have done things differently. Some people act like I am a teen mother who can't figure anything out on my own. It is so frustrating! You would think that I had a horrible acting child. In all reality he is very good natured. But, what really pushes me over the top is when those babysitting him change the way I do things to their way and I have no control over the situation. AAAAHHHHHHH!!!1

Thankfully I will have completed my teaching contract in 7 school days + 2 hours and 15 min.!

ABC Blag

2008-03-04T13:22:00.007-07:00

A- Attached or Single? Attached
B- Best Friend? guy: Hubby -- girl: rabidowski when she isn't running! (because I can't go along)
C- Cake or pie? Neither unless the cake is rabid's banana or pumpkin
D- Day of choice? Saturday
E- Essential Item?Lately my need is Maalox to stop the heartburn
F- Favorite Color? Blue
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? Worms they are just more fun to eat!
H- Hometown? American Fork, UT
I- Favorite Indulgence? Chips, Chips, and more Chips. Then the Maalox or Tums
J- January or July? July
K- Kids? almost 1 -- 2 weeks and 3 days left!
L - Life isn't complete without? A good hug from Hubby
M- Marriage date? June 9th
N- Number of brothers and sisters? 2 brothers, 4 sisters
O- Oranges or Apples? Apples unless someone peels the orange for me. I can't stand the way they make my fingers feel.
P- Phobia and fears? I am totally afraid of vomit from myself or others. Yes, I know I am about to have a child and will have to deal with it alot!
Q- Quote? "You can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being!" POE
R- Reason to smile? When hubby waves to me out the front window as I leave for work.
S- Season of choice? Autumn
T- Tag three people?McMillans , Xanadua , Petulant Ninny
I know I am grasping at straws to get the Ninny to respond. I just don't have a fan base the size of Rabid's.
U- Unknown fact about me? I used to be a sports bra model
V- Vegetable? carrots
W- Worst habit? being grumpy with my dear hubby
X-Ray or Ultrasound? Lately ultrasound--It is so fun to see the little creature inside.
Y- Your favorite food? Right now toast it doesn't usually give me heartburn. Otherwise Thai
Z- Zodiac sign? Leo

Nice Excuse

2008-02-26T19:59:00.011-07:00

I got the best tardy excuse note the other day from a parent who sends her child to school very late frequently. It went something like this:

Dear Mrs. Winder-
Please excuse "student" for being tardy. I heard about a minor earthquake up in Salt Lake and wanted more info. before bringing him to school. Please send any work he missed home and we will complete it.
Thanks
"Mother"

This note was written on a bank deposit slip.

The best part about this is (well, the whole thing is classic) that the earthquake was in Nevada. I knew everything I needed to know about what had happened before I left home at 7:50 a.m. The child arrived at school at 10:45 a.m. School starts at 9:00 a.m. The other fabulous thing is that I teach 2nd grade. I don't have loads of paper work to send home most of our morning is spent working together without worksheets.

Then, wouldn't you know it the child shows up the next day at 10:50 a.m. without an excuse note. Maybe even the parent knows you cannot top an excuse like the day before.

One reason why I have to just love my job.

4 Weeks--Afraid to Count

2008-02-20T20:41:00.007-07:00

So, I am down to 4 weeks before the creature inside me pops out. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. Unfortunately this has all greatly impacted my blogging. Oh wait, I was a blog slacker before that so no excuse for me.
Anyway, back to my real thoughts. I have finally just decided (with the help of some good friends and the labor and delivery nurse sister) to stop letting everyone get to me. For example a friend at my baby shower (which was like 2 weeks ago) had me in a panic because I don't have a bag packed for the hospital. Thankfully, my sister told me "the baby will still come out fine without the bag, all we need at the hospital is your naked body". Hopefully I will be able to enter the hospital with some clothes on even if they aren't clean.
Note to self for the future keep any horror stories to myself and don't frighten any other poor sap first timer. If you are reading this and have had a child, try to remember that and be real yet positive when talking to a potential nervous wreck like me or another scared to death first time mother-to-be.

A Great Sale

2008-01-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

Why is it that I always find the need to tell everyone the price I pay for my great shopping finds? For example yesterday I went to "Old Gravy" and got two pair of pants for $4 each along with several other great finds (see I can't keep from talking about the deal). After leaving the store I called Rabid and my family. I told them of my great purchases and suggested that they go check it out. So, am I just bragging about the jackpot I hit? I'd like to think that I am calling to spread the word so others can benefit. I don't know. I guess it is possible that I am one of those people who have to brag about everything. It is hard not to brag when you are as great as me! :)

Holding My Breath

2008-01-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

I sit here on a recess break at my place of employment (teaching 2nd grade) holding my breath. My class, which has been one of the most difficult in 10 years, is being incredibly wonderful. How long can this continue? What is the cause of the good behavior? Did I do something? Are they just tired from all of the holiday hype?
I don't know exactly what to think. I almost don't dare move. This is all too good to be true. Maybe I am just a pessimist but the bottom is bound to fall out anytime!

Male Combat Cleaner

2007-12-17T09:58:00.001-07:00

So, if you are an avid reader of rabidrunner you will know about Combat Cleaning. If you are not here is a brief introduction. Combat cleaners will get started cleaning, usually in the evening, and can't stop. This is most often done by women and often happens when there is a frustration brewing. With that being said I have a great story for everyone.

My dear hubby has been having trouble lately with a stuffy nose. He is always complaining that he is getting headaches. I told him it was probably because our bedroom has gotten really dusty. I also informed him that he is welcome to clean it. I didn't feel like it especially considering I had just had a bought with the stomach flu and being pregnant ended up in the hospital for I.V'.s. So he decided that he would. The next thing I know he has the vacuum out and is doing some serious Combat Cleaning. Under the bed, behind the dressers, the ceiling fan etc. It was so funny I had to share. I ran downstairs and called rabid. I was laughing so hard I could hardly explain the situation to her. Then I went up to get the camera to catch the moment forever. I found I couldn't get the camera because he had progressed to the office. It was great!

So the moral of the story is: Get pregnant, sick, or heck just fake something. Then make sure you have let something get dirty that will bother your loved one. You never know, he/she just might surprise you and do a little Combat Cleaning!

Rabid Shopper

2007-11-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know what rabidrunner looks like, beware if you see her at the store. For the rest of you who aren't sure, best of luck I hope you never run into her at the grocery store.

Why am I adding this warning to my blog? The reason for this is because I have experienced her rabidness first hand while at a visit to the local supermarket. She is extremely dangerous with a shopping cart. I witnessed her run one man to the edge of the aisle and force him to wreck into the thing-a-majig that is used to display the batteries, nearly knocking it over. Shortly after that I observe her decide to gander at something in the freezer display. Instead of setting her cart politely next to her, she pushes it off into the middle of the aisle leaving a trap for other shoppers who might unexpectedly round the corner and slam into it. Fortunately this time all others in the store were spared any further accidents. I felt like I was a witness to operation shock and awe.

So, please remember, if you see her pull into the shopping center you have been warned. Avoid her or better yet return later to complete your shopping experience in saftey!

Check Out The Goods

2007-11-06T20:48:00.001-07:00

So, if you read rabidrunner you know that the Yahoo growing inside of me is a boy! I figured I would take this chance to show everyone his male parts before he can be embarrassed by my actions.

To the right of the photo is his hind end. Look directly to the left and there is the package. Above the words It's A Boy you are seeing a leg. Hopefully this makes sense.

I have also included a photo of the Yahoo's profile.

Can I Borrow?--Part 2

2007-10-30T19:35:00.000-06:00

So, if you haven't read part 1 of this little saga you must refer to Can I Borrow? Found in July. You can't truly appreciate this event without the background,

So, the male and female from part 1 of this saga moved to a new residence about 30 miles away. You might think that would end the drama. Oh, No! Before their departure they were aware that my dear hubby had recently opened a small used car dealership. Of course, they wanted him to pick them up a minivan from the auction for a price that would never be possible. But, business is business and my husband was "forced" to tell them that what they were looking for would never come through at that low of a price. Hello, this is an auction not a miracle shop! Anyway, they ended up purchasing another neighbors older, used minivan. The hubby and I didn't want to know any of the details we avoid all situations with them when possible. Note: this purchase was made the first of September.

Yesterday I come home from work to find my hubby listening to a voicemail with a smirk on his face. Upon finishing the message. He tells me that the former male neighbor called to ask for the hubbies help. The male's message stated that the previous owners of the minivan want their plates removed from the van and returned. Yes, you guessed it they haven't registered it. The male wanted my hubby to work more magic and help him get the licensing and a temporary tag for a "better price". Which knowing this couple they would be most happy if somehow the magic included them paying no taxes or registration fees or better yet if someone else paid it for them. (The best part is they are always needing favors because they're broke, but they pay $800 a month to send their 1st grader to private school.) I saw true joy in the face of my dear one when he said, "I am 'forced' to tell him there are two things in life you can't avoid Death and Taxes. Sorry, can't help you."

Scare/Scar the Kiddies

2007-10-24T10:31:00.000-06:00

My poor future Yahoos. My hubby and I find such pleasure in giving the children a scare. Maybe this will change for me when our Yahoos have nightmares, but I don't think my hubby will change. For example Rabid and her Yahoos came for dinner and games on Monday. While eating dessert my dear one takes our wooden, Tongan tribal mask off the wall. It is a well known fact that Yahoo #2 is terrified of it. He brings the mask in and frightens #2. I find this wildly amusing. Of course we are fine with it, we are sending the Yahoo home with Rabid who was minus Spouse for a few days. It doesn't stop with just one scare we repeatedly try to frighten the Yahoos. Then, as Rabid is trying to leave, I send the hubby out one more time to scare them while pulling away in the dark! I guess this further explains why I love the Halloween season.

Voucher Debate

2007-10-18T10:29:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it I am actually happy with a news report. The local news station KSL has listed some pro's and con's, and cleared up some of the false reports stated in commercials. Follow the link to read this:

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=1993736

I believe you should read the actual bill and make your own decision. If you feel that is too much, read the article and see if that will help clear up some of the controversy.

Aaaaahhh Halloween!

2007-10-15T19:49:00.001-06:00

I just love Autumn. But, I love Halloween even more! I know many think that it is an evil pagan holiday. I don't agree. I think it has become a month of a lot of fun, candy, parties, and money to be made for the economy. There might be people trying to keep ancient traditions alive. I say just avoid that type and you will be fine. Maybe it is just that I like becoming something that I am not, I don't know. I do know that I love to dress up and paint my face so that I cannot be recognized. I think I am making up for the lack of playing dress up as a child. I just wasn't into it then. Anyway, I wanted to share with you my thoughts on the "spook"tacular holiday!
Happy Haunting

Something New

2007-10-01T20:07:00.000-06:00

I just noticed in a comment from Rabid a request to write something new. I don't know if it is the pregnancy hormones or what, but I haven't been thinking very clear lately. I have been waiting for something profound to come to mind. This obviously hasn't happened. So I will just write about something that is not profound. Those of you who have been through this might be able to relate.

I have become a crybaby lately. Not just crying a little, giant sobbing fits have erupted from the inner depths of my soul. Here is an example: My dear hubby planned to go on a camping/four wheeling trip with his brothers. He rarely goes on trips "with the boys" and loves camping. Because of circumstances beyond our control he hadn't been camping at all this summer. I am usually fine with him taking an occasional adventure. So, Friday comes and he prepares to leave. As he begins to depart disaster strikes. The inner depths of my soul burst. My poor husband tries to remedy the problem to no avail. To make matters worse I am actually totally embarrassed by how I am behaving. The embarrassed feelings seem to add to the tears. I finally convince the hubby to leave so I can end the trauma. Then wouldn't you know while my eyes are still red and swollen the neighbor comes by to drop something off. I can't avoid answering the door. I am sitting on the couch and my front room is like a giant fish bowl for all to see where I am. The poor neighbor looks at me like I am a battered woman. Thank goodness she has had several children and all I have to say is "hormones "and she understands.

I can look back on this now and laugh. Even while I laugh I live in a bit of fear. I don't know when the next fit will strike. There doesn't have to be a traumatic event to start the water works. Last week I shed more than a few tears while watching "The Biggest Loser". Oh well, what do you do?

I Am Going to Snap

2007-09-12T18:29:00.000-06:00

I believe I am in trouble. I am excited to finally bring my wart into the world, although I hope my teaching this year doesn't ruin all of the excitement. I don't know why it is so hard for the class I have this year to figure out that if they will line up without being so ANNOYING they would actually get to go to recess early. I don't think I am asking too much, in fact I am offering a reward. Instead we are always getting to recess a couple of minutes late so we can "practice". Don't let me give you the complete wrong impression. Sometimes they actually make it on time. I am not going to budge on this one so, we will see what happens. I may just snap and end up yelling for them to "Shut Their Traps". I am really good at that you know.

Fantastic Birthday Gifts

2007-08-27T17:31:00.001-06:00

So, last week I had a birthday. It was a nice somewhat relaxing day. It was the day before school began for my students. I had to work, but sometimes it isn't so bad when I actually have time to get stuff done in my classroom.

My first gift was a nice visit from rabidrunner and the two Yahoo's. It was great to have a visit at work. They brought me a fabulous "hand crafted" beanie and a cute dress. The dress was a little big read on to understand why.

My parents and sisters gave me clothing to wear to work.

My dear hubby gave me silicon oven mitts and trivets, two Big Bubba Kegs, and money to buy new clothes. He knows better than to try and guess my size.

Another sister gave me the DVD "Wild Hogs" I recommend it to all.

I also received two cookbooks from a friend and from a sister-in-law.

I think my best gift actually came on the day after my birthday. I had a doctor's appointment and my hubby and I got our first look at our Yahoo in the making. We saw its little heart beating like mad, weird looking eyes, and limbs with fingers and toes. We were also able to see it move twice. It was quite exciting. It has been a little hard to believe that after 6 years we are finally on the road to parenthood. WOW!!

I didn't scan our ultra sound photo in, but it looks something like this:

It sort of looks like it's not much, but to us it was the best news in a long time!

Tribute to Xana-Diva-Delux

2007-08-07T21:23:00.000-06:00

I couldn't let this moment pass without paying a special tribute to Xana-Diva-Delux and her blog Xanadua. I was reading it yesterday and having a bit of trouble with the way my eyes were responding to the colors. Upon moving to the comment section I noticed that el rabido had requested a theme song be placed on the blog. I took the opportunity to request new colors. The Diva responded very un-Diva like. She didn't throw a fit about it. She made the changes and now has given rabidrunner a run for her money for the best blog ever prize(if you know me everything is a competition).

I was feeling a little down and having more of my usual tummy troubles. Then I remembered Xana-Diva-Delux and her theme song. I instantly went to the sight. The song began and I danced around the room feeling the best I had all day. THANKS X-D-D! The best part is my dear hubby loves me all the more for playing the Xanadua song over and over and over and over. . .

The Happiest Place on Earth

2007-08-06T20:49:00.000-06:00

I recently took a trip to the land of Disney. What an experience! First of all I highly recommend the Fastpass system and the 3 day "Park Hopper" pass. While you're in the newer of the two parks be sure to ride the "Tower of Terror" it is one of the best thrill rides ever.(my dear hubby who jumps off cliffs while skiing went on it 2 times in a row).

Anyway, to the real point of all the "happiness". This place is full of screaming and crying kids. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed this in past trips. One example of the "happiness" torture was when I went to help my sister-in-law with the 4 year old while she changed her little one. There are several diaper changing stations that are well equipped with supplies. That doesn't mean there wasn't a huge line waiting for a spot. This should be expected considering the lines everywhere else. Of course all of the children are screaming or at least whining. So, our turn comes the duty is done then sister-in-law needs to use the john herself. I volunteer to take the kids out so the 4 year old won't touch anything (I know my hubby wouldn't let him close if he thinks he might be contaminated). The little one becomes very distraught about this and sets into a new set of "happiness". To push him out in the stroller I have to tilt it back because of the violent tantrum. While exiting the restroom I receive several understanding glances, and a few looks of "can't you control that child". I might have been pushed way over the top by all of this if I hadn't been with the hubby. As we would walk around the park or wait in line if the kids would begin to cry he would say(in a voice my typing can never do justice):
STOP CRYING, THIS IS THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!!!!
If you know my dear hubby you would know why I would laugh in my wonderful cackle and had the gumption to wait in just a few more lines. Keep all this in mind the next time you plan a trip to the land of "Disney". Don't say you won't because you just never know!

P.S. If you are the type who likes the whole celebrity watching thing go when a new ride is opening. We saw a ton of the rich and famous type. See if you recognize this "Law and Order" chick with her baby. I am not talking about the little girl who thought I was taking her picture! Check out the shoes obviously the celebrities didn't have to wait in line.

Can I Borrow????

2007-07-07T19:36:00.000-06:00

So, as I sit here looking out my front window watching the adorable little quail family cruise around I think to myself, "Am I a mean person?" I don't quite know the answer, I guess it is highly possible that I am. It is equally possible that some people are just plain rude.

BACKGROUND
I feel that the hubby and I are fairly generous people. We don't have a lot, (hubby hasn't had a job in the past 4 years, law school, and as previously mentioned I am a teacher), but we try to think of others and give when we can. So, the entire inner struggle began about a month ago. A male who happens to live in close proximity to us came by to show his new mountain bike to dear hubby. During the conversation the need for shock oil came up. My dear beloved quickly offered some of his (2 different unopened containers I might add). Both males then ventured down to the "gear room" (we have a lot of sporting gear as a result of a previous job of the hubby). The bike was oiled the spouse mentioned that one container would not be used and could be kept. The other male said great and took both. WOW!

Shortly after this visit the female also living in close proximity comes by and asks my hubby if we know anyone who has a baby carrying backpack. Now here is where it gets interesting. We have not been blessed/cursed with children. We do happen to have a very expensive (remember we are not affluent) baby backpack purchased during the time of the previous mentioned job. This backpack has been saved for 4 years hoping we might finally be able to have children and use it. My hubby knows that the other male would have seen this in the "gear room" so says that we do. The female then asks is they can use it. My hubby decides to let them take it on the day hike as it has been made to sound. He then proceeds to go and fetch it. The female says don't get it now we’ll come later. Turns out that they are going on a week trip to a very hot and sandy location. When the male came to pick it up he says, "Is this thing hard to figure out?" My hubby says in a short tone, "I don't know we haven't used it!" The male says, "Great, Thanks!" WOW! We let them take it all the while quite disturbed about the matter. Call us pushovers, but think hard about how you would really respond in an entrapment like that. So the backpack returns mostly unharmed. The hubby and I decide that we will limit our contact with this male and female and be prepared to say, "We aren't comfortable with lending that." upon future encounters. Then we try to put the issue behind us. I had even wrestled with whether or not to blog it. Then this morning happened.

CAKE TOPPER
Today I am out taking care of the flowers. While watering I’m chatting with a neighbor. The previously mentioned female comes over joining the conversation and says, “I was going to come over last night and borrow a cute shirt from you, but your car was gone.” Once again I am not prepared for the boldness. Out of surprise I say, “Which one?” She then says, “I don’t know I just wanted to look through your closet and see what I liked.” WOW, WOW, WOW! All I could think to say was, “Yeah, I wasn’t home.” Maybe I am mean and selfish for not wanting people to come and pick what they “like” from my stuff. I can live with that. I just need to work on being rude back.

I guess I should be thankful that nobody has asked, “Can I borrow your breast pump?” Oh wait, I don’t have one yet!

What Happened to My Annie Lunch Box?

2007-04-17T20:24:00.000-06:00

So, I was driving home from work the other day, yes I drive the average American commute of 30 min., listening to a "Hardcore History" podcast. The topic was what happened to the people of the Bronze Age. I was obviously not paying attention because I began wondering where my Annie lunch box from second grade went. (which I am sure was sent to the local thrift store years ago) This thought then led me to wonder why school lunch is now so vile. You see I had the lunch box but it was rarely used. My family qualified for reduced lunch prices so we usually ate school lunch. Which I didn't mind especially on the chicken soup and cheese bun days. As an educator I now see first hand what types of lunches the children get and I also understand why there is a childhood obesity problem. Everything is prepackaged and most often full of trans fatty acids and other disturbing goop.

This entire thought process chain was quickly forgotten until last Saturday. I had a few hours to hang out at home (this is a rare thing for me). I decided to make a nice breakfast for myself and the hubby. While cooking I turned on the T.V. hoping for some good ol' "Saturday Morning Cartoons". I quickly found myself thinking what happened to all of the "good" cartoons. I couldn't even figure out what was going on let alone get a little chuckle from the silly things. Don't even get me started on the weird animation. I then had a flashback to my thoughts from a few days prior when I wondered where my lunch box was. I wondered what happened to "Bugs Bunny", "Scooby Doo" and "The Jetsons". I decided they are lost like the Annie lunch box.

I guess through all of my random thoughts I now understand why the kids I teach seem to get more difficult with each passing year. They don't have Annie lunch boxes. They eat food filled with junk. They are deprived of happy entertainment. I want Annie and Bugs Bunny back!

Wi-Fi Blocking Paint

2007-04-03T20:18:00.000-06:00

So the latest new "safe" thing is listed on the yahoo site's tech link. Wi-Fi blocking paint. It is supposed to help those who have unprotected wireless networks. Sound a little like the taboo of unprotected something else. . .?

http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/hughes/10031/wi-fi-blocking-paint

If you don't have time to look at the link here is a brief clip of the "useful" product:
"wireless blocking paint. One coat of this paint 'creates an electromagnetic fortress by preventing airborne hackers from intercepting signals.' "

Just the term "electromagnetic fortress" makes me cringe. I am not one of those cancer fearing folks, but this just screams of one big cancer trap or one big government trap.(I will get to that later). What is the paint lead? Not to mention is it "GREEN" a topic I am becoming familiar with thanks to a dear friend. I fear somehow that this new paint will only lead (nice lead and lead in the same paragraph try teaching the difference to children) to more people having a false sense of security and an increase in identy theft.

The post later suggests a possible use in a movie theater to block cell phone use. Wouldn't that cause problems in our homes? I am one of those annoying/with the times (depending on how you look at it) people who doesn't use a landline. Wouldn't I be an idiot to paint my walls with something that would block my use of the all important telecommunication device. I guess you might want to keep some people from getting through. I personally have a better plan than blocking all possible calls. Just get a number that is long distance for all of your neighbors. It will really make them crazy and is good for a few laughs on your part.

Well, back to the government. I have a husband who is a little into conspiracy theories. This reeks of such. What's next fireproof houses and the burning of all books?

(The final sentence is a throwback to one of my favorite novels Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury check it out on "Wikipedia" if you are not familiar or better yet read it!)

Don't mess with "The Teacher From the Haunted Room".

2007-03-26T21:26:00.000-06:00

I had to post this doctored picture of my latest Halloween costume. I always have one student at my school near tears. Aren't I the worst teacher. Wait until I tell your child to shut his or her trap!

Here Goes Nothing

2007-03-26T20:31:00.000-06:00

So, I have never done this before. It can't be too difficult right? What is the worst thing that can happen someone doesn't like what I have to say? That can't be too bad. I teach school, there is always someone there who doesn't like what I have to say. It might take me a little time to compose wonderful masterpieces like my buddy, rabidrunner! I am willing to put in the effort and take abuse from more seasoned bloggers to perfect the art. This is all I have to say for now except, I am glad I no longer live next to aforementioned buddy my mail is still secret. :)